So, this happens:
get some happiness and curl it in a ball
then I’ll eat it, whole
till it falls
in the chambers of my stomach
and there, plof, sounds,
as it sinks in the pool
of this phisically inconsistent liquid.
That’s my sadness
and soon the sweet gets sour
and the ball dissipates
and I only remember to be grateful
this has happened.
Then it starts:
the sadness starts to swell
and makes some waves
and it tells me it wasn’t time
then it says my time has ended.
I drown from inside every time I get a little happy.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I just realised how much my life sucks.”
“Oh, so you’re laughing because of that.”
“No, I’m laughing because I instantly conceived the moment in which I’m talking to a customer and I stop the conversation by saying ‘one second, you just made me realise how much my life sucks’.”
“Mi sono appena reso conto di quanto la mia vita faccia schifo.”
“Ah, quindi ridi per questo?”
“No, rido perché mi è venuta in mente la scena in cui fermo una conversazione con un cliente a metà dicendo ‘un secondo, mi hai appena ricordato quanto la mia vita faccia schifo.”
I’m in bed at night
but my thorax is on fire
there’s a blood red light
bursting out of my ribs
and no clothes that can stop it
– no paper
Got work in the morning
my alarm is set already
but this heart is not sleeping
I need the blinds well shut
a whole neighbourhood is resting
and they need it, I can bet
they might get upset
if a bat signal floods out of my window
and writes on their sky
the words cracking my mind
to the core
has anybody seen my love?
Ho imparato che il karma non esiste, stanotte,
ho fatto i conti:
ho messo tutto ciò che ho fatto – di bene – su un piatto
e poi il male su un altro, per calcolare il netto.
Anche proiettando cento anni sempre meglio,
e se in altri fossi stato, più volte, un santo
due volte un genio, e un bel bandito ogni tanto,
la soluzione è che non c’è equilibrio
che mi sono meritato un solo giorno lì con te.
I tried to put my heart inside a drawing, but I can’t draw, so I used calligraphy, and tried to get the scorched earth around me in a reasoned map of the sense I’m losing.
I tried to tell a picture of a feeling of a love that digs inside me and will forever like ____, Or just how simple was the genius of ____, who got in like it was home and looks out peacefully, unlike ____ from her tower asking me to lead the way, while _____ crushes me against her like a black hole. And when I breathe I look at distant stars, ____ in her movie, ___ in her music, and where are you know ___? And further still, the crushes I dream on when I like to, like ____ the liar, and ___ the model and ____, of course you know her, you all.
And how my love looks much like atoms do, I know where you might be but it’s not at all exact, I can pencil down a line and then thicken it with chalk: this is where you probably are right now, I can’t pin you down much better.
And so all of those lines are names I’m keeping silent, because they know me and I know them, but I still cannot explain and they haven’t understood how my heart works, how it’s shaped, how it beats. That’s my drawing, my calligraphy, my words: don’t think you’re ever missing, you are all here anyway.
L’aria morbida, ricordo di te,
Sono sordo ad ogni voce
perché il mio orecchio
è verso il silenzio
costruito per separarmi
da tutte e due
le parti di te
che mi mancano:
quella che sei
e quella che è mia.
It is economically sound to have formed a family by the age of 30.
The state benefits for married couples and newborns can be easily deemed universal, as they can be found anywhere in the civilised world.
The global economy, too, is built to satisfy the need of households inhabited by three people or more. Family packs.
Having a well-launched career is the cementification of a good social standing, providing the steady income such nuclei need.
I arrive at this age a social loner, my heart almost pulverised. I’m at the attempt number five, six, or seven of building a life that can stand, so I can rock it the way I want it to. But what I want is too much, my ambitions too large. To fit everything I am, a 4 bedroom house wouldn’t be enough, the income of a full time job won’t cover the research, and finally, the time of a day won’t be enough. Only a calculated overflow could be a feasible life for who I ended up to be.
Living by addition,
all I have to see because I want understanding and control.
I have still some heart left, so please come in,
there’s some fragments you should step on, before they grow too large.
I’m a man, but I don’t really know how,
while I watch the manual burn completely,
we took out what was toxic
and while we rethink the roles
I really do not know what to do with myself.
I’m a straight white european male,
the world’s my fuckin playground
but luckily we stopped the game to try and make it better.
Freedom is power is money is a job it’s your age it’s inside it sits out there
And I don’t know who to give it to
because I want it all
all the songs I want to listen so I can quit your Taylor Swifts on Radio Capital
all the books that tell me places I have friends in
all those games that make me be someone else so I can find myself
and be an actor and a writer and a dancer and play football
and make politics and anarchy and get out there, organise, explain the difference, make it
give all I can give so I can get to be. Get to be that guys who’s paid to be himself and noone else.
CLose the jails, find the way.
Set the world allright so I can leave for Mars.
And find you all on the way there, cause I feel free when I can do what I want
but I feel good only if everybody’s freeer than me.